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I'm looking for a Shidduch!

אני מחפש נשואים!

בעה"י

My name is David, and I'm looking for a shidduch!

I am a 62 year old Ashkenazi baal tshuva from a non-observant family. I am Litvish and machmir in my Torah observance.

I am divorced, without children. I live in Mezcal, Arizona (about 50 miles from both old and New Mexico). I am willing to relocate.

I grew up primarily in California, but I've lived many places since. I've attended university, and my occupation before I retired was that of Computer Programming Consultant.

I am reasonably intelligent, educated, considerate, and polite. I tend to be a perfectionist in respect to myself, but more tolerant of others. Like most people, I have a temper at times, but have learned through the years to control it. I have many diverse talents and skills (including winemaking, baking, gardening, woodworking and welding).

Others describe me as considerate, generous, compassionate, sympathetic, forgiving, courteous, etc. I try to live up to this.

I believe that the key to a successful relationship is honesty, communication, respect for each other's feelings and desires, and a willingness to compromise and to accept fault rather than argue about things.

My Past:

I was born in Akron, Ohio, grew up in Los Angeles, later Sacramento, and later traveled much of the globe. I attended UCLA and University of Washington, but didn't graduate, as I decided to emigrate to Israel. I lived in Israel and served in the Israeli army directly following the Six-day war. I then lived in London (working throughout Europe) for a number of years, and returned to the US in 1973. I spent some time in Los Angeles, and in South America, ending up in the San Jose bay area, where I spent most of the next 25 years. In 1997, I moved to southern Arizona, where I have remained to date.

I've worked in a variety of professions and trades, but most of my working years were spent as a computer programmer and computer systems consultant.  I had my own company for a number of years, but finally retired a few years ago due to poor health (COPD and arthritis).

Both parents are Jewish, as are grandparents, great grandparents, and as far back as can be traced. My great-grandfather was the last observant Jew in our family before myself. I was brought up "Reform", and began to learn about and practice real Judaism when I was in Israel in 1968. It took a number of years before I became "completely frum", but I believe it was about 1981. I've studied in a number of Yeshivot. I am now very machmir in my observance (what some refer to as "ultra-orthodox"), but I still retain my ability to relate to and enjoy many elements of less religious and secular society.

I married a wonderful woman of my own age in 1987. Unfortunately, we were unable to get along, for which I accept at least 50% of the responsibility. We separated in 1989 and divorced (with a gett) a few years later, when it become evident that reconciliation was not possible. There were no children from the marriage, and we are no longer in contact, although I understand she has remarried.

I married again in 2004, and spent the next eight years trying to be the best husband possible, but my efforts were futile. We separated and divorced (with a gett) in 2011. There were no children from the marriage, and we are no longer in contact, although I understand she made another shidduch before her gett was written.

My present:

I study Chumash, Nach, Shulchan Aruch, Mishnayot, Talmud, and Mussar on a daily basis. I daven b'zmano thrice daily. However, due to my present location, I rarely attend synagogue. When I do, I do not converse with others during davening (nor will I any longer attend a synagogue where this is permitted). I wear tsitsit and a black hat everywhere. However, I usually wear a suit only on Shabbos and Yom Tov --- and never while skiing or swimming. I keep chalav yisroel and pas yisroel, bench over a cos, and I don't eat gebrachts during Pesach.

I now spend my days davening, studying Torah, Internetting, exchanging correspondence with friends, writing to Jewish prisoners and helping them with their needs, cooking, gardening, and producing fine kosher wines.  I am a pretty good chef and baker (I make all my own bread, cake and pastry), although my energy level no longer allows fancier creations.

I also enjoy exercise, a variety of music, computers, woodwork, metalwork, and some crafts. I'm told I have a good sense of humor, and I enjoy stimulating conversation. I try to be considerate and sensitive at all times; however, sometimes (being human) I fail. I try to learn from experience, and not make the same mistake twice.

Politically, I am a conservative. However, I am not a Republican or stereotype "right-winger", but more of a Libertarian or Jeffersonian ("the government which governs least, governs best"). Thus I have much in common with true "moderates" of both the left and the right, favoring non-government solutions to societal problems when feasible, and opposing counterproductive government "control" of our lives. In respect to Israeli politics, I am unapologetically a Kahanist.

Although a traditionalist, I am not a "chauvinist" (neither in the classic sense, nor as the word is misused today).  I believe in sharing the household chores, and respecting my spouse's opinions, desires, and needs, giving them (at least) equal weight to my own.

My future (G-d willing):

The help-mate I seek will be dedicated to real Torah Judaism, observe Torah Mitzvot (or at the bare minimum Shabbos, Kashrut, and Taharos Mishpacha, and be willing to learn the rest). She will be considerate and compassionate. She will be willing to put up with my faults, and I with hers. It matters not if she is a ffb, ba'al teshuvah, gerusha, or gioress, as long as she is dedicated to Torah now. She should like animals --- I have two dogs, and they are part of my family. She need not be a cook or baker (as I am both), but it would be nice if she can help with other household chores.

She must be a non-smoker. She must be financially responsible (e.g. she will keep an accurate check register; she will not write bad checks, nor incur unnecessary debt; she will stick to a budget; she will understand why these things are important.) She will be open and honest at all times. She will not throw things at her spouse when upset, especially sharp things, or threaten to hit him with a frying pan.

In return she will receive my undying love and affection, respect and protection.

Unfortunately, my current and foreseeable income, while adequate for my own needs, is insufficient to support a wife and family. So my basherte will have to be willing and able to contribute to the family income.

I'm open to relocation, but when I do, I want to move to a true Torah community, where people come to shul to daven, not to shmooze (until after davening); where the beit hamidrash is always open, and there is always someone learning there; where the sickly and poor are taken care of by the community; and where those who live alone always have a Shabbos invitation; otherwise I may as well stay in SE Arizona. 

Although, I would like to move back to Israel again some day, I do not wish to do so at present considering the current political climate. When and if the country becomes more religious, more united, more willing to combat the Arab threat, more like it was in the 1960's, I would probably wish to return. Of course, when Moshiach arrives (may it be today), I shall definitely wish to return.

That's me in a (rather verbose) nut shell. Your turn, should you so desire.  

David Goldin (דוד בן יוסף גולדין)

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Additional information and/or rabbinical references will be happily provided on request.

My present family